Many people are in the search of more motivation. Unfortunately it isn’t a thing, pill, or object you can simply pick up and use. However, the good news is that you can affect and influence your motivation (as can others if you let them). Richard Bandler says that to have motivation, you have to have a clear goal, something you’re aiming for. The very nature that you have a goal or a target means it must be something that you want to achieve (otherwise there would be no goal, desired outcome or intention do complete it).
Is it important enough?- if so, take responsibility & take Action!
OK, so I hear yo saying, yeah, yeah, yeah Laura … I have a goal Laura, but no motivation to achieve it. Firstly, we need to look at this goal of yours ….
- Is it the right goal?
- Is it compelling enough for you?
- Does it have a big enough ‘why’ or reason to achieve it?
- What will achieving the goal get for you?
- What are the consequences of not achieving it?
- Are their other ‘methods’ that you could use to achieve the desired outcome?
- How badly do I you really want it? – if the answer is I’m not really that bothered, my advice is go and focus on something else!
If something really is important to you, you need to take responsibility, you need to do something, take some action! Tad James created the 5 Principles for Success and in there
External Motivation: ‘Drains’ or a ‘Radiators’??
I was reminded this week of a Managing Director I worked with in the early part of my career. I remember us chatting one day about motivation and how others can impact on our motivation and energy
‘Radiators’ are people who radiate energy, positivity and who spur us on. ‘Drains’ on the other than drain us of energy, motivation and zap our pizzazz! If you want others to help spur you on, you need to hang our with ‘Radiators’ and limit time as much as possible with the ‘Drains’. A lot of people complain of being tired all the time an not having the energy to do the things they love. Well, metaphorically if you’ve been pouring your energy into relationships, businesses or workplaces full of ‘Drains’ you’ll have nothing left for you, your family and the achievement of your goals and dreams.
Aby Moore from YouBabyMeMummy has some tips on how to spot the drains from what she has learned over the years. “They are overly negative, self-absorbed. They’re more prone to gossip and drama than adding anything helpful to the world. The next step would be to not get drawn in.”
RonaLynn Fitzpatrick, Founder of Gong Bath Meditations, says of the effect of ‘Drains’:
However, there are more subtle exchanges that often run below our conscious awareness. Some people have difficulty expressing their true feelings and
The best way to manage energy is to recognize and voice our boundaries. We can be assertive and kind by reminding our self and others about what
The most important skill is being mindful of the stories we tell our self about the intentions and
David Black adds: “I believe that other people can affect our energy levels, without even interacting with us. Einstein himself, in his famous equation of from E=mc2, demonstrated that energy is equivalent with
“The phrase “A psychic vampire” has become common to describe a living person who “drains” others emotionally, leaving them tired and without energy.
“Some ancient Eastern spiritual systems have a belief that energy travels throughout our body along lines
similar to the way blood flows throughout our bodies via veins. The Chinese practice of Acupuncture deals with these energy flows. Some of these lines cross over others, and in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, there is a belief that there are 7 main places where many of these lines crossing over form a nexus. These are referred to as chakras. Each one has a different type of energy. They are often represented in diagrams as a circle.
“It’s believed that these actually spin and when rotating one way, they emit energy, and when rotating the opposite, they suck in energy. In this belief system, people both give and receive energy to each other unconsciously.
Sometimes, when people are depressed or have anxiety, it is believed by some practitioners that they have a blocked chakra. Instead of the spinning of the chakra reversing on occasion, it is just spinning one way
and sucking energy from others and making them feel sick and drained.
I won’t attest to this being factual, but I do believe it is possible.”
Speaking from a resilient psychology perspective, Shane Warren notes: “I think we all have a bit of both
Nimisha Brahmbhatt, an independent management consultant who works with FTSE 500 companies, says: “it is inevitable that you will come across both characters in the workplace… and before you jump on the
“The best method to address a ‘drain’ would be to spend some time observing and reflecting on their behaviour, which will often times show you what is it that triggers their negative behaviours. It could be aspects that happen in the workplace but
“Can just be as simple as asking them what is wrong”, says Sonny Davies from JustWin Marketing. “They’ll be glad you care enough to ask and not just admonish.”
Carmen Williams of strategic action consulting adds “People often say that ‘time is money’, but it is not ‘energy is money’. They say that you are an average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with. It is for that reason that I urge my clients to consider who they are spending time with and focus on if they feel more energised after being with them or not. If not, then try to limit contact. If limited contact is not an option there are some reframing strategies that you can utilise.”
Stress is something that is usually associated with drains and the guys at Morgan Lovell recently put together a great piece on reducing stress levels within the office space and how to counteract it.
If you do indeed, find yourself being a ‘drain’ then look yourself in the mirror and question how you’ve allowed that to happen and more importantly take responsibility and decide what are you going to do to change it? – what could you do to re-energise yourself and find your mojo!
Get Motivated: take responsibility and
ask your ‘Radiators’ to help you!
Assuming you are focused on a goal that is important to you (see above) and that you are willing to take responsibility, then find your ‘radiators’ and spend time with them! Find one of them who you would NEVER break a promise to and tell them about your goal and over a cuppa chat about what you can do to achieve it. Feed off their positivity,
Get Motivated! – want some *Free* Motivation Training?
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